Sticky Teams and Quiet Stuckness: What Gets Tricky and How to Get Unstuck
We’ve all been there. You’re part of a team or group that starts with energy and good intentions, but over time, something shifts. Meetings feel heavy. Decisions stall. Tensions bubble under the surface. Progress slows. The work gets sticky.
Stickiness in teams is rarely about one person. More often, it’s a set of invisible dynamics that pull energy downward:
· Unclear purpose – If people aren’t aligned on why the team exists, it’s easy to drift or pull in different directions.
· Unspoken tensions – When difficult conversations are avoided, resentment grows quietly and trust erodes.
· Role confusion – Without clarity on who’s doing what, work gets duplicated or dropped.
· Imbalance of voice – If some dominate and others stay silent, the team can’t access its full intelligence.
· Lack of reflection – Without pausing to ask how things are going, patterns stay stuck.
So how do we get unstuck? Here are a few practices you can bring, whatever your role in the team:
1. Get curious, not critical
When things feel sticky, resist the urge to blame. Instead, get curious. Ask: What might be going on beneath the surface? What’s not being said? Curiosity opens up possibilities that judgment closes down.
2. Name the stickiness
Sometimes the simple act of naming what’s stuck - gently and constructively - can shift the energy. You don’t need a solution right away. Just naming the pattern invites shared ownership.
3. Clarify purpose and roles
Revisiting why you’re together and who’s holding which responsibilities can remove friction fast. Clarity creates flow.
4. Create space for real talk
Make time to check in as a group - not just on tasks, but on how you’re working together. Even 10 minutes can make a difference.
5. Invite all voices
Notice who hasn’t spoken—and invite them in. Teams thrive when everyone feels they can contribute.
Sticky is normal. It’s part of the life of any team or group. But stickiness doesn’t have to mean stuck. With awareness, care, and a bit of attention, teams can move through the hard patches - and often come out stronger on the other side.
Unspoken Dynamics That Weigh Teams Down
Not all stickiness in teams shows up as missed deadlines or loud conflict. Some of the most persistent and draining dynamics are the ones we don’t talk about – where we feel stuck and unable to move rather than wading through treacle. The subtle, often taboo undercurrents that quietly shape how we show up and how safe or seen we feel.
Here are some of the less-spoken-about forms of stuckness that show up in teams, groups and networks:
· Power games disguised as collaboration
Sometimes what looks like consensus is really control. Influence is held tightly by a few, while others feel sidelined or politely ignored. People nod along in meetings but disengage afterwards. Real decisions happen elsewhere. This erodes trust and agency…fast.
· Emotional suppression
We often value “professionalism” over honesty, but in doing so, we suppress emotion. Grief, frustration, fear, even joy—when these are pushed aside, they don’t disappear; they leak out sideways, often as passive resistance, burnout or disconnection. Teams lose vitality when emotional life is off-limits.
· Identity discomfort
Race, gender, class, disability, neurodiversity—these can be present but unspoken. When teams don’t make space for people to bring their whole selves, members spend energy on masking or shrinking. The result - “stuckness” that shows up as silence, fatigue, or quiet withdrawal.
· Avoidance of conflict
Most groups have an unspoken rule: don’t rock the boat. But avoiding conflict doesn’t mean harmony - it means festering resentment, indirect communication, and surface-level agreement. Teams that fear conflict stay safe, but never stretch.
· Invisible labour
In many groups and networks, someone holds the emotional tone, keeps people included, remembers birthdays, smooths over tensions. This care work is often unacknowledged - and disproportionately carried by women or marginalised members. When invisible labour is expected but not named or valued, it breeds quiet exhaustion.
So what helps?
· Catalytic conversations - Create space to name what’s normally left unsaid. A question like “What’s hard to talk about here?” can open powerful reflection.
· Outside facilitation and coaching – Sometimes teams need a neutral mirror to see their patterns clearly.
· Shared agreements – Make explicit what you value. How will you handle conflict? Whose voices matter? What are your commitments around equity, voice and care?
· Celebrate the unseen – Notice and value the often-invisible work of holding a team together.
“Stuckness” isn’t a flaw - it’s information. The quieter forms of team “stuckness” tell us where growth wants to happen. When we dare to look at the uncomfortable bits, we don’t just move forward - we become more human, more whole, and more capable of meaningful collaboration.
Nick Ellerby is a coach and Co-Director at Oasis Human Relations, one of a group of thirty plus practitioners working in partnerships across sectors as coaches, hosts, convenors, speaking partners, facilitators, researchers and changemakers.
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