The system shapes you & you shape the system
Our Mutual Dance of Power
Last week I managed to miss my deadline for the blog I’d wanted to write, it was on presence as power. I was responsible for its creation, and not meeting the date was down to me. I mentioned slight sleep deprivation - my mind and heart had been working overtime on the implications of recent changes for people in my working life. These things happen, and the questions I’ve been holding have had an impact on my energy and focus. I’m not in control of the outcomes and never could be, but letting go of that is part of my process.
I’m not acting in isolation – no-one ever does.
Every conversation, every decision, every gesture is part of a wider pattern, a web of relationships, histories, assumptions, and unspoken rules that form what we call the system.
And here’s the paradox: as people, as contributors, we shape that system every day. Yet at the same time, it shapes us.
Seeing the water we swim in
When a new person joins an organisation, they quickly notice that some things are easy to change and others feel immovable. Meetings have a rhythm. Decisions happen in certain corridors, not others. Certain people always speak first - and some rarely speak at all.
That’s the system in action.
Power isn’t just personal; it’s systemic. It’s embedded in habits, roles, structures, and unspoken agreements about what is ‘normal’. Often these patterns were formed years before any of us arrived. We inherit them like the architecture of the house I live in - useful in places, but full of strange corners, questionable decisions and stuck doors.
One of the marks of mature leadership is learning to see this invisible architecture - to notice where energy flows and where it gets trapped.
Gestalt and the field of power
In Oasis thinking, we talk about field - the dynamic whole that includes people, roles, context, and environment. What stands out as ‘figure’ (the issue we’re focused on) always arises from a broader ‘ground’ (the conditions that surround it). Gestalt approaches have much to add to this thinking and informed us on our own development in the 80s.
So when someone says, ‘She’s struggling to lead her team’, or ‘We’re not making headway on changing this attitude at COP30’ the question is not just about skill, influence or confidence. It’s also:
What’s happening in the wider field?
What expectations, stories, or power relations are shaping the experience?
What part of the system is being expressed, perhaps without realising it?
Seeing power systemically means recognising that every act of leadership is both a response to and a recreation of the larger field.
How the system shapes us
Even the most self-aware leader is shaped by the forces around them.
Organisational systems have weight, ways of keeping things as they are. You might notice it when a new initiative quietly fades despite initial enthusiasm, the same issues resurface under different names or people revert to ‘how we’ve always done things’ under pressure.
These aren’t personal failures; they’re signs of systemic inertia. Power isn’t just held by individuals - it’s held by patterns. If we’re not aware of those patterns, we end up serving them unconsciously. We mirror the very dynamics we wish to change.
How we shape the system
The good news is that systems are living things. They respond to attention, energy, and example.
Picking up on my last blog, every time you change the way you show up, you subtly shift the field around you.
When you slow a conversation that’s rushing toward blame, you introduce reflection into the system.
When you invite a quieter voice into the dialogue, you redistribute power.
When you name a dynamic others feel but won’t speak, you make the implicit explicit - and the system reorganises around that truth.
In other words, you are always shaping the system, whether consciously or not. The question is: what pattern are you reinforcing or releasing?
Working systemically with power
To work systemically is to cultivate both awareness and agency.
Awareness to see the whole; agency to act within it with care and courage.
Here are some practical ways to begin:
Map the field.
Sketch out the key players, pressures, and unwritten rules that influence how power moves in your context. Notice who holds voice, trust, and informal authority.
Look for loops, not lines.
Systems move in cycles - cause and effect circle back. When you act, pay attention to the feedback you receive. It’s the system’s way of communicating. We learn how things really work when we try to change them.
Name the water - rather than just focussing on the fish
Bringing systemic patterns into shared language (‘It feels like we avoid conflict in this team’, or ‘Decisions seem to drift upwards’) begins to shift them.
Hold your ground
Systems often test new behaviour. When you act differently, more transparently, collaboratively, or boldly, expect resistance. It’s a sign of movement, not failure.
A Story from Practice
A senior group I worked with described themselves as ‘too nice’. They prided themselves on harmony, on bringing humour to move things on, on being inspirational when the going got tough, and being liked as the good guys, but behind the smiles and frequent getting on with the tasks, sat strong egos, frustration and superficial conversations. Hard topics never surfaced in the room; decisions leaked out afterwards.
Through systemic mapping, they saw that avoidance was part of their organisational culture - a long-standing pattern of keeping peace by smoothing over difference. Once named, safe-to-fail experiments were possible. They agreed to a new rule: no meeting ends without hearing at least one voice of difference or dissent.
At first it was awkward. Then it became freeing. Over time, that one shift rippled outward. Conversations became more honest, relationships stronger. The system began to reshape itself around a new norm - that truth matters more than comfort.
Dancing with the Whole
Leadership, at its best, is a dance between presence and pattern.
When we work only on ourselves, we risk self-absorption. When we work only on the system, we risk abstraction. Real transformation comes from holding both: being deeply present and systemically aware, and working in the space between where the potential of a shift in relationship lives.
The system shapes you - through its stories, roles, and expectations.
You shape the system - through your choices, stance, and courage.
Power lives in that mutual dance.
An Invitation
Take a few minutes to reflect on your context:
What patterns of power do you notice?
Which ones serve the work, and which ones stifle it?
Where might a small, conscious act of leadership begin to shift the field?
Seeing the system clearly is itself an act of power.
It’s how leaders turn insight into change, not by stepping outside the system, but by standing inside it more consciously.
Missing my last deadline caused me to step inside what was happening in the system and what could I do differently - and today I’m on time, feeling a lesser sense of responsibility and having enjoyed more sleep.
This blog series is an invitation into curiosity, honesty, and deeper leadership. We’re glad you’re here.
Nick Ellerby is a coach and Co-Director at Oasis Human Relations, one of a group of thirty plus practitioners working in partnerships across sectors as coaches, hosts, convenors, speaking partners, facilitators, researchers and changemakers.
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