Practising the powers you don’t usually use
In my last post, I explored the work of a favourite psychologist, James Hillman, his insight that power comes in many forms and has many faces had a big influence on me. He expanded power from something related to strength to how it lived in the body, feeling, and the mind.
At the time I was beginning to work with Boards and Leadership Teams, and being able to bring a more holistic perspective was at times transformational. Also in the mid-90s I had been developing my practice with great teachers and coaches at Oasis including John Heron, Mario van Boeschoten and Gaye Houston all in their own ways helping me understand my relationship to power and influence.
One of the quiet truths of leadership is this: we all have a power comfort zone, the types of power we reach for naturally. And we all have blind spots - powers we rarely use, mistrust, or don’t yet know how to apply.
So what do we do with that?
The invitation in these linked blogs is to expand your range. Developing leadership flexibility means learning to use different forms of power, not by abandoning your natural strengths, but by integrating new ones, thoughtfully, respectfully, and with practice.
Here are a few ways to begin:
1. If you rely on quiet presence… try the power of naming.
You may be someone who holds space and lets others talk, which can be deeply powerful. But sometimes, people need you to name what’s happening: to offer clarity, frame the conversation, or say the thing no one else is saying.
Practice: In your next meeting, name a pattern you’ve noticed. Keep it simple: “What I’m seeing is…” or “It feels like we’re circling this issue - can I try to name it?”
2. If you’re comfortable with influence… try the power of refusal.
Influence can be a generous power. But sometimes, what’s needed is a clear boundary, a principled ‘no,’ or a refusal to go along with something you believe is off-track. Until we can say ‘No’ we cannot truly say ‘Yes’.
Practice: Notice where you feel uneasy or in quiet disagreement. Instead of softening it, try saying, “I’m not comfortable with this direction, and I’d like us to pause.” Possibly to take time to reflect and weigh and value what is being discovered and sensing what is being called.”
3. If you often lead by voice and authority… try the power of withdrawal.
You may be the one people look to for answers or direction. But sometimes stepping back, creating space, or letting others lead is the most powerful thing you can do.
Practice: In your next group setting, experiment with holding back your opinion. Ask, “What do others think?” and let the silence and the power of listening do its work.
4. If you lead with logic… try the power of imagination.
Not everything is solved by facts and plans. Sometimes a shift in metaphor, vision, or emotional tone creates a breakthrough.
Practice: Invite the team to imagine a different future. Ask, “If we weren’t bound by this process, what might we create instead?”
Finally, two thoughts to carry with you…
Power becomes richer when we see it not as a tool to wield, but a practice to deepen
Noticing our habits - and experimenting at the edges - is a powerful act in itself.
And one question:
What kind of power might you practice this week?
This blog series is an invitation into curiosity, honesty, and deeper leadership. We’re glad you’re here.
Nick Ellerby is a coach and Co-Director at Oasis Human Relations, one of a group of thirty plus practitioners working in partnerships across sectors as coaches, hosts, convenors, speaking partners, facilitators, researchers and changemakers.
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